Anonymous said: 2,7,21,25,29
Think I’m gonna make these numbers separate posts , fyi , because I’m in the middle of a couple things and can’t do em all at once !
2: Drunken story time…GO:
Oh there’s so many though… but I wanna go with one about Rachel . because we got drunk together a lot , haha . hm . I mean there were just so many times that we would pregame with wine or something cheap and then she’d send out a mass text asking about parties lol and then we’d wander around Oberlin and sometimes got lucky and hit up some really ill dj parties and dance our asses off , and make out with each other and people always thought we were roommates or girlfriends.. and then Rachel would get a girl into her bed if she wanted and then she’d wake me up hella late or the next day to tell me all about it . idk . that happened like every weekend and I fucking miss it so much . she was always down to go into some house where we didn’t know anyone really and just start dancing and looking for beer .
Oh but specifically like one of the first nights of orientation freshman year I think it was the first party we ever went to together , it was a Rugby party and we ended up going upstairs with a bunch of the older ruggers and played cheers , governor and then we did poppers and played spin the bottle and we were so stoked cuz it was like the second night and we got to make out with hella hotties ha . that was fucking fun .
Also the night Rachel tried special k for the first time . lol . so good .
okay more numbers coming soon… !
oh , girl . somehow you popped into my thoughts again , just like you do every day . you were so bright and beautiful . I think a part of me died with you . I’m not the same . almost five months and I’ve been going downhill it seems . maybe I just need to accept my fate that this is the life I’ll have . along with everything else that’s happened , you really didn’t need to teach me this lesson . seriously . I can’t go back . not without you . and it fucking sucks .
is ever gonna love you more than I do .
I think one of the reasons I’ve been so down today is because last night I fell asleep thinking about Rachel . about how it’s a new year now , the first new year she’s never seen . I miss her every fucking day and think about all the things we never got to do .
last night I was thinking that I don’t think I can go back to Oberlin . I don’t know what to do with myself when she’s not there . I don’t think I can handle it . it’s too painful . I can’t imagine being there without her . for me , she was as much a part of my life there as the campus , the classes , and everything else . so if she’s not there , what’s the point . I might as well stay here and move on with a different life . I think if I try to go back I will become severely depressed and have to leave again for my own sake . I don’t want to go through that again . 2011 was probably the worst year of my life in a lot of ways . I’m so glad it’s over but now I feel like I need to be making good decisions for myself so that this year turns out better . I just want to get better and have more energy and be less depressed and do productive things that I enjoy and that don’t stress me out .
Rachel , you’re one of the best people I’ve ever known . I love you so much . my heart breaks every day thinking about you .