it’s 5am

a guy just left my bed

I am eating cherry garcia ice cream

I have to be AT work in 6 hours

LOLOLOLOL

*cries*

hmm okay

calling me just to say you’re “scared for me” and think that I’ve “given up” and I’m making “lifestyle choices” that reflect that , and THEN being silent when I try to talk to you… I mean why did you call in the first place I think we both just feel worse now . thanks mom . 

I have one cigarette left and it’s my last because I actually want to quit now but uh yeah way to make me want to smoke right now , good job . 

I’m so pissed , I was having SUCH a good day and now it’s ruined . fuck . off .

oh and it’s really rude to ask me why I’d want to go to Desmond’s funeral… uh because I knew him and I want to be there for my best friend who was really close to him . I’m going to spend the whole day with her on Friday so you won’t be seeing me anyway . 

If you’re so scared about me being depressed and possibly “suicidal” why would you do everything you can to alienate me . really makes me not want to tell you what’s going on with me , since apparently you’re just making assumptions for yourself anyway . 

why am I doing this to myself

I’m sooo so tired but I’ve been resisting sleep for the past 45 minutes

I have to wake up early tomorrow and I should not be keeping myself up but for some reason I have this really strong feeling of not wanting to go to bed..

I think I’m losing , though , my eyes are not gonna stay open much longer .